It’s now two years since we got engaged and I’d like to share our memories from that day with you. If you want to start from the beginning, read this about how we met first.
After living together for a couple of months we knew that this was a serious relationship that was going to last. It’s difficult to explain how we knew, everything just felt so right. I guess it’s true that when you find your special someone you know it, even if you don’t know the first moment you meet. Perhaps it can be compared to a fire, when it’s lit it’s small at first so you might not notice the warmth that it can give you, but once you notices you know that the fire can keep you warm and safe, as long as you keep taking care of it. Maybe it’s not the best analogy but it was the one that came to mind.
We were (and still are) always joking and teasing with each other, and started to joke about getting engaged and married also. I don’t remember who brought it up first or at what time, the discussion and jokes on this topic just kind of emerged and started growing, but if I had to guess I would say it was probably B that started. It took some weeks before we got more serious on the matter and finally decided that it wasn’t too early and that we were actually going to get engaged.
We took the decision together and therefore didn’t have any proposal or anything like that. Taking the decision together felt good and totally natural, no need to go and wait until one person thinks it’s time to get engaged and asks the other person. Honestly I think I wouldn’t like that style, especially since one person (usually the guy) normally buys the rings, and I’m too much of a control freak to be ok with that, haha. It’s also not a part of Swedish culture for one person to propose to the other even though it’s more common nowadays since young people are very much influences by American movies. Here it’s traditionally been more of an agreement between the two persons and deciding together. So for me this way was the perfect way.
When we had decided that an engagement was a good idea for us to show the seriousness of our relationship and that we wanted to get married in the future, we started talking about how we should do it.
We, or mostly I at first, started looking at rings. It was a good thing to start that early because it took quite some time to find the right ones. I usually take a long time comparing products and prices so it was totally normal for me. I don’t remember exactly how long time it took but at least several weeks of searching online, reading forums, visiting local shops and flipping through magazines. Eventually we found the ones we were happy with and actually ordered them online because there was a huge price difference for exactly the same rings we could buy in the local shop.
Since we didn’t have a specific day that someone proposed or a day that felt like we had decided on, we searched for a date when we would exchange rings and have a small gathering of friend and family. After some thought I found the 10th October as a possible date and we quickly agreed on that date. It seemed like a perfect date since it reads as 101010. As if that isn’t enough, if you read 101010 binary it becomes 42, which at least according to the The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (by Douglas Adams) is the answer to the question about life, the universe and everything. So I think that date was perfect for our engagement! 😉
A funny side note is that when I told my parents that we were planning on getting engaged my mom said that she had actually thought we already got engaged before the last time we were visiting them, which was in the middle on summer (around July). So they were not the least bit surprised, it more seemed like they had known it was going to happen long before we (or I at least) even knew ourselves. Unfortunately they couldn’t come and join us on 101010 since it was a sunday and a 5 hour drive, so difficult with lots of work the next day. Since B doesn’t have any family here in Sweden none of his relatives could come either. Instead we invited a few of our closest friends to celebrate the day together with us. Our day started at home as we prepared the lunch/dinner for later, getting dressed, fixing hair and waiting for our friends to arrive.
Then we walked to a place we had chosen to exchanged rings. We did that on a small walking bridge across the river in the centre of the city where we lived. We chose that place because we wanted somewhere we could return to a long time after we had changed to a bigger apartment or moved away from the city. This way we could come back to the city, go to this bridge and remember our engagement day. Or perhaps to go any nice small bridge in another city or country too for that matter. The symbolization of the bridge as a passage to a new part in life is also a nice thing to have. We didn’t exchange any special words or poems or anything like that, it would have felt too much like a wedding if we did. We simply exchanged our rings and kissed.
Luckily one of our close friends that was with us that day had brought her DSL camera and took lots of wonderful pictures, I’m so happy we have those because I had not thought at all about taking pictures at that time. We continued to a nearby park and took more photos there. It was a perfect day really, it was sunny, a little chilly in the air since it was October but not too cold. It was well into autumn and luckily it had been cold before so the leafs were shifting in wonderful colours of yellow, orange and red, both still on the trees and on the ground, couldn’t be more perfect!
After the picture session we all went home to our apartment to have lunch/dinner together. Our place is not very big (36 sq m, open layout) but we managed to all sit down around the table together. While we finished cooking our friends prepared some game with questions about our relationship. The dinner was a good example of that you don’t need a lot of space when it comes to spending time with friends, the most important thing it to enjoy and have fun together. And we sure did! I still remember this day vividly and I’m so happy it was such a wonderful time that we got to share with good friends. I often look at our pictures from this day and smile whenever I see them. If our engagement day could be this fun, then I wonder how our wedding will be in the future! 🙂